Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Thought I'd Share What's Going on Today

As I typed in the date into my journal just now – April 29, 2014 – I became queasy. It’s not that I was startled, of course I know what the date is, but just seeing it, I guess, makes it real. I got queasy yesterday too.
I decided to take today off from work. I’d have been less productive that usual. I’m lucky I have the flexibility to do that.

Your mom usually comes over but this year decided to stay home. The past two or three years it felt important to be around people. But this year I want solitude. I think I will take metro to one of the museums and stare at beautiful and interesting objects. I’ve thought about fasting today too. I haven’t had breakfast yet so that is still a possibility. Not sure why I thought of that but it did.

I’m glad its cold and rainy today, not warm and sunny like it was four years ago. The weather on April 29, 2010 was perfect, mid-spring, mid-Atlantic weather. It reminds me of September 11, 2001, which had perfect pre-autumn, mid-Atlantic weather.

After the boys get home we’ll let go purple helium balloons into the sky like we’ve done each year.

I haven’t cried yet but I did get a choked up yesterday driving home from work.

I think I’m going to call my brothers and sister and tell them I love them. I haven’t told them that in a while.

5 comments:

  1. Beauty. Tears. Your plan for the day sounds perfect. Thank you for sharing.

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  2. Thinking of you, your boys and my own memories of Amy today.

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  3. Last night I was working on a music blog at WordPress, and because they apparently use GMT for their timestamp, I got to see the date April 29th a few hours before the fact. But the thing I personally focus on with April 29th is the fact that it's also the anniversary of the day Amy and I graduated from U. of M., and this year is the 25th anniversary of our graduation. But even as I type this, I still feel have that weird sense of grief that makes it difficult to breathe. Hang in there, brother... Sheldon

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  4. p.s. I just saw this picture a few weeks ago when I was on campus and I went to look at Amy's plaque. That was a really great idea of yours, BTW...

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  5. Thanks, all, for the comments. I really appreciate it.

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